My thoughts on Roger Clemens

I know you all are waiting patiently to find out what I think of this whole situation. After all, I am a leading authority on all things baseball since I do have 2 All Stars! What do you mean Ponytail softball and 10 year old little league aren't the same as professional baseball?! Ok, it's true. I really don't know much about professional baseball. I can only tell you a handful of players and even then I probably know more about their personal lives than professional career!

At any case I'm gonna share my brilliant train of thought that came to me as I took my 10 minute shower. That's where I do all my deep thinking! There's no telling how brilliant I'd be if I took bubble baths!

So I started wondering how we can live in such a double sided society? Why are we wasting precious time and money investigating baseball and steroids? Do we really care if he was taking steroids? I don't think we do. Don't we show up to games hoping to see the big hits? The no hitter games? I mean don't we all remember following the count as Barry Bonds was on his home run quest several years ago? It was a nightly countdown on all the major nightly news! Ticket sales kept increasing as he came closer and closer to the big one. Did anyone care if he was using illegal drugs? Not really they just wanted to see the big hits!

We are a society of results. We pass off all kind of rule bending and plain ole rule crushing. We celebrate celebrities who are drug abusers or those who abuse women. No matter how bad the sin, we still buy the book, go to the movie or upload the newest record to our iPod. Perfect examples of that are Charlie Sheen or Lindsey Lohan. Have you ever seen a more perfect train wreck than the two of them but still they remain on top of the world! How messed up are we!

And then there is the whole fact that Congress is the one investigating! I'm not sure I'll ever understand that. Don't they have better things to work on than a major league baseball player using drugs just to give us what we want?! Didn't we elect these people to go to Washington to work for our benefit? We've already established that it is us who WANTS the players to shock and awe us.

So I think I've come up with the perfect solution! If we legalized steroids for professional players and tax them high, it'll be a win-win-win! We get our big show, the franchises get tons of money from ticket and merchandise sales and our country gets bazillions in tax dollars! Our national debit could be paid off before the 2012 election eliminating a million campaign commercials....HA, another win! And if no one wants to claim the tax money then I'm sure the UMDF would take it to find a cure for mito!

And to think that I came up with this perfect plan in just 10 minutes! Can you tell I'm just a little tired of all the superficial celebrity and athlete worship we do in this country! By the way I'll let you know when I decide if I'm running for President in 2012! I'm still designing the campaign bus! :-)